Coming Out

Coming out marks a crucial journey for gender minority individuals as we navigate our sexual orientation and weigh whether to share it with others. This path is deeply influenced by factors like self-acceptance, cultural background, experiences of discrimination, and the messages they receive from society and family. Despite progress in acceptance, society still holds heterosexuality as the norm, making deviations from it subject to stigma, discrimination, and prejudice.

Australian culture celebrates individualism, placing a strong emphasis on personal goals and uniqueness. Despite lingering stigma, coming out is viewed as a powerful symbol of equality and personal rights in this context. On the flip side, in collectivistic cultures, group interests come first. Coming out becomes tangled in expectations of heterosexuality and traditional family roles. Gender-diverse people from these backgrounds often find ourselves grappling with the difficult choice between their ethnic and sexual identities. Consequently, individuals from individualistic cultures are more inclined and empowered to come out after exploring their sexuality, while those from collectivistic cultures may choose to conceal their true selves to avoid upsetting their families and communities.

For young Asian Australian lesbians, gays and bisexuals (LGBs)*, the coming-out journey is even more intricate. We have to navigate between our parents' collectivistic cultural values and the individualistic Australian culture. This balancing act, along with the complexities of gender identity, shapes coming out into a challenging, ever-evolving, lifelong journey.

Lack of Representation in Research

Numerous theories and models have been developed to elucidate the development of sexual identity and the processes of disclosure, often drawing from predominantly White LGB experiences and thereby overlooking minority perspectives. Cass (1979) proposed a six-stage model of homosexual identity development, which highlights stages such as identity confusion, comparison, tolerance, acceptance, pride, and synthesis. However, this model fails to adequately consider socio-cultural factors and social stigma, diminishing its relevance in contemporary contexts. Savin-Williams's (2005) newer model, focusing on gay teenagers, emphasizes individual uniqueness but is constrained by its concentration on predominantly white, middle-class, male youth. While recent research endeavours to incorporate racial, social, and cultural contexts into studies of homosexual development, there remains a gap in understanding how cultural background influences the coming-out processes of second-generation immigrants.

Bicultural Identity

Mao, McCormick, and Van de Ven (2002) explored the dual identities of gay Asian men in Sydney, highlighting conflicts between collectivistic Asian backgrounds and individualistic Australian culture. These findings suggest that second-generation Asian youths experience unique bicultural identities and psychological mechanisms. Bicultural identity, common among second-generation immigrants, involves reconciling the values of their parents' culture with those of the host country. This socialization can create conflicts, particularly regarding views on sexual activities and identity. Second-generation Asian youths often struggle to integrate their ethnic identities within Australian culture, especially when cultural norms clash, as seen in the coming-out process.

The Model Minority Stereotype

The model minority stereotype portrays Asian youths as hard-working and obedient, making coming out disruptive to this image. This stereotype leads many young Asian LGBs to view their sexual orientation as incompatible with both their ethnic and majority culture norms. Consequently, many delay coming out to avoid family disownment and community alienation, managing their sexual identity to maintain family rapport and financial support. Despite suppressed homosexual desires, second-generation Asian LGBs often secretly engage in homosexual behaviours within the LGB community but face low self-worth and isolation due to a lack of representation and support.

The Impact of Acceptance and Rejection on LGBs’ Well-Being

Despite its hurdles, coming out can profoundly impact LGBs, serving as a catalyst and catalyst for personal growth. Successfully navigating this process can improve psychological and physical well-being, diminish internalized homophobia, and strengthen connections within the LGB community. Research conducted by the Université de Montréal revealed that LGBs who were open about their sexual orientation with family and peers reported lower levels of depressive symptoms and allostatic load compared to heterosexual men. Moreover, those who embraced their sexuality experienced reduced levels of psychiatric symptoms and morning cortisol, underscoring the advantages of coming out.

Research also suggests that rejection, stigma, and discrimination often lead to significant negative impacts on the well-being and adjustment of LGBs. The reactions of parents to their children coming out significantly shape the social, emotional, and behavioural patterns of LGB youths. Studies indicate that disclosing one's identity, especially to family, particularly parents, is often the most anxiety-inducing aspect, with high rates of family rejection linked to increased levels of depression, suicide attempts, substance abuse, and risky sexual behaviours. The fear of potential rejection often leads many young LGBs to conceal or postpone sharing their sexual orientation to avoid the possibility of family rejection and the loss of financial support. On the flip side, family acceptance and support can nurture a positive sexual identity, bolster self-esteem, and enhance mental well-being, thereby reducing stigma and distress.

Author: Van Pham

*Disclaimer: The term "Asian Australian lesbians, gays, and bisexuals (LGBs)" refers to individuals who self-identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual and have parents from collectivistic cultural backgrounds, such as those found in South or Southeast Asia.